Other people don’t have to like you
- Delight Moser
- Sep 25, 2019
- 3 min read
Do you worry about what other people think of you?
What your parent’s and in-law’s opinion is?
If your husband thinks you’re doing enough?
If your friends will judge you?
What the neighbors think?
Every time your brain spends its energy trying to answer the question of what other people think about you, you stop being the best version of you and become a people pleaser.
People pleasers constantly look to people outside of them to gain their self worth.
If other people think they are good, worthy, or enough, then they can.
So they say yes to all the things. They do more than they want to. They adapt to be the people they think others want to see.
Meanwhile they start building resentment because they are not honoring their own desires, and they start loathing themselves for not taking care of their own needs.
It is exhausting.
I have news for you: other people’s opinions are none of your business.
Stop wasting your brain power on it.
Other people are allowed to judge you. They are allowed to not understand. They are allowed to think badly about you.
Their opinion is a reflection of themselves and the way they see the world, not a reflection of you.
Trying to figure out what other people are thinking about you… is thinking thoughts… about thinking thoughts… about you.
Instead, just think about you. Do you like you? Are you doing what you want to in the world? Are you proud of yourself? Do you like being with yourself?
That’s all that matters. End of story.
Other people are allowed to not like you.
Dita Von Teese said “You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”
If you are a peach, and you don’t believe that a peach is valuable, and someone else comes along and doesn’t like peaches, it hurts!
If you love peaches and are so glad that you are a peach, and they don’t like peaches, it is not the end of the world. You are just sad for them. They must be confused, peaches are delicious!
Them not liking peaches is not personal, because you know the true value and worth of a peach. They just don’t see it.
Life is so much better with peaches!
The hurt doesn’t come from them not liking you, it comes from the part of you that agrees with them.
If you are confident, other people’s judgements will not hurt you.
Self confidence doesn’t just happen to you, it is a skill. You learn it by being willing to feel any feeling.
Other people are allowed to not like you. If you’re willing to feel disappointed, or embarrassed, or ashamed, it’s not a problem. Over time, this leads to self confidence.
You are not afraid of rejection because the worst that could happen is a feeling. You love yourself more for being willing to feel any feeling. You know you can do it.
Your work to do is to love yourself. What do you loved about yourself? What do you value and admire? What are you proud of?
Stop waiting for everyone else to notice how awesome you are, and just be awesome.
You already are amazing.
You already are exactly who you are supposed to be.
You already are right on track.
You already are the juiciest peach, and no one has to know but you.
xoxo,
Delight
P.S. Do you want to feel happier? Read here.
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