Your capacity to feel happiness in ANY given moment in your life, is 100%. A year from now, it will be 100%, next month it will be 100%, tomorrow it will be 100%, and today it is 100%. It is still 100% when your kids are all grown and gone. It is 100% when you have a hard day.
Happiness is always available.
Too often you are waiting for some moment in the future when all the stars align in order to be happy. When the kids stop fighting, when the house is clean, when your income is greater, when you finish the to-do list, when you finish all the house projects, then you will be happy.
Most people live their lives thinking all of the things outside of them determine their happiness, but they never do.
The things outside of you are never responsible for your happiness.
That truth can change your life if you let it.
Opening your eyes to that fact brings peace.
Don’t wait until your dream future when you have the well behaved kids, the clean, beautiful, big house, the large paycheck coming it, and nothing left on your to do list.
You can be happy right now, and that is such great news!!
When your brains jumps ahead to the future and thinks about how “I can’t wait until… (insert the thing you wish would change in your life) ” Stop and ask yourself, what will I feel when that happens? Why?
Remember, you can feel that way right now.
Happiness really is always available.
It’s like a perpetually beautiful cake sitting on your kitchen table that is healthy and has zero calories. You want to eat a slice, but you think you have to wait for the party to start. The only problem is you don’t know when it will start. You’ve been waiting a long time - days, weeks, even months or years, but it never seems to get here. Maybe tomorrow, if you’re lucky, it will be time for the party, but not today.
Stop waiting and just eat the cake!
Every time you eat it, a new one appears the next day, just as beautiful! (And still healthy and calorie free!)
If you’re anything like me, you’ve already spent a good portion of your life waiting for the party to start. Stop waiting.
You are the party!
Live the life you always wanted. No one is holding you back but yourself.
In the future, when all the problems you have now are solved, there will be new problems. This might sound bleak, but it is freeing.
Things that your brain thinks are problems, do not stop you from feeling happiness. Your problems today do not cause you unhappiness, and your problems in the future will not cause you unhappiness. Your capacity for happiness will always be 100%.
Happiness is available right now, with everything you have going on in your life.
Nothing has gone wrong. Your life is beautiful just the way it is. Open your eyes and see it!
See the healthy child behind the tear stained cheek. See the solid foundation beneath your cluttered house. See the freedom you enjoy in homeschooling.
You’ve wandered into a field of wildflowers, and are sitting down and staring at the weeds, ignoring the beautiful blooms, the soaring clouds, the gentle breeze, and your children’s laughter as they play.
Once you realize that you can look up from the weeds, it’s tempting to feel terrible for having wasted time looking at the weeds, but this gets you no where. You weren’t supposed to know how to see it yesterday. You were supposed to learn today.
There is no time like now to start accessing 100% of the happiness available to you.
If you’re ready to start taking some mental action to feel more happiness in your life, here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
You can focus on the weeds, or you can focus on the flowers. I promise you, your life has way more flowers than weeds. Your life is amazing.
2. Be responsible for the way you feel
Nothing outside of you can make you feel bad, only you can. It’s ok to experience negative emotion, but when you beat yourself up, it just gets worse. Just feel some disappointment and move on. Accepting the negative emotions opens you up to positive emotions.
3. Be responsible for your own actions
Not the actions of your kids. Your actions! Your are more powerful than you give yourself credit. Start taking responsibility for yourself instead of trying to change the people around you. If you want your kids to be kind, be kind. If you want your house to be clean, clean it. Don’t wait for your kids to be kind and to clean in order to be happy.
4. Commit to achieving your goals
Don’t wish for your goals, commit to them. Goals without commitment are just wishes. If you have something that you want to do in your life, do it! Nothing is stopping you but yourself. Working towards a desire brings happiness.
5. Learn from your mistakes and keep trying
Believe in your capacity to do amazing things, and plan for yourself to fail along the way. The road to success is paved with failure. Don’t let failure stop you, just get up and go back to work. There is joy in trying and failing.
I'm rooting for you this week.
P.S. Read about how to feel your feelings instead of eating them here.