What if It’s True?

What if all of the things you worry about are true?

What if they don’t like you?

What if they are mad at you?

What if you have failed?

What if you are messing your kids up?

Then what?

You would feel terrible.

You would feel shame, embarrassment, and disappointment.

Humans dislike feeling terrible, so usually they try to avoid it at all costs. On default, this turns into worry. Worry feels useful. It feels like if you worry enough, you somehow prevent the failure.

It’s a trick your brain is really good at.

It’s a trick because worry doesn’t really help. It doesn’t prevent the bad thing from happening. All it does is take you out of the current moment and into the potential future you’re trying to avoid.

Instead of enjoying what is happening right now, you are stuck in the future you don’t want, thinking about it, practicing it, and exploring all of the problems it would create.

Worry feels useful.

It feels like worry helps prevent the bad thing from happening. And it feels like it would help you if it did happen, because at least you would have rehearsed the situation and therefore you would be prepared.

Worry does not prevent the terrible feeling in the event of disaster, it just makes it so that you feel terrible in advance.

Not only does worry not feel good, it has negative consequences.

Worry robs you of the moment you are currently in.

Instead of being focused on what is happening right now in your life, worry causes you to focus on what “might be”.

Worry is the dress rehearsal for the potential disaster.

Did you know that you don’t need a rehearsal?