I am trying to make a big decision and I am afraid to choose the wrong choice.
It involves whether or not we should add onto our house.
I want to add onto our home for a list of reasons that would benefit our family, but I am worried that in the long run we won’t recoup the costs.
I think it might be frivolous to spend the money.
If in the future we regain all of the cost, I would do the addition in a heartbeat…. but I don’t know what the future holds.
What if we lose money in the long run?
So the fear of the unknown is keeping me stuck.
I know I could just be happy with my house the way it is now and that adding on doesn’t “make” me happy, because I know that circumstances do not cause my feelings, so why should I even consider doing it?
I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve decided the answer is:
Because I want to.
That is reason enough.
I want to do what I want to in life, not what I “have” to or “should” do.
I have come to realize that I don’t have to do anything. Truly, doing nothing is actually an option. Why not just sit on the couch watching Netflix all day?
If things don't create my happiness, then doing things doesn't make me happy.
If nothing will make me happy, why do any of it?
I've thought about this a lot lately and decided that I don’t accomplish things to feel good. I feel good and love my life so I do good.
So what do I want to do?
I want to raise 6 kids.
I want to homeschool them.
I want to eat healthy.
I want to exercise.
I want to learn.
I want to become a life coach.
I want to have an amazing marriage.
I want to serve in my church and community.
So I do all of them.
None of them make me happy. They are just my preferences for my life.
Other people who have different preferences than me are not wrong, they just have different preferences.
I am not better than other people for choosing my choices. And no one else is better than me for choosing “higher” goals than I have achieved.
Goals aren’t higher or lower, they just are what we have chosen.
Neither are choices.
Doing the addition on my house isn’t better than not doing it, and spending the money isn’t worse than not spending it.
They are just options, and I am free to choose.
I haven’t been choosing because I haven’t wanted to choose the wrong choice.
I was fearfully weighing the choices, trying to see the future and figure out which one would have the best impact in my life.
There is no way of knowing what will happen either way. It could make great financial sense or we could lose money in the end. Either one is a possibility.
Based on my best knowledge and research, I get to make the decision.
If there was no wrong choice, and either way I choose it will turn out amazing in the end, which one would I choose?
I know the answer.
Fear holds me back from making the decision. Now that I see it, I want to choose to go ahead and make the choice, independent of fear.
I have nothing to fear.
Whether I lose money or not, will not determine my level of happiness.
My brain thinks it will, because it thinks that things outside of me are responsible for the way I feel, but that is a lie.
Nothing outside of me can make me feel anything.
It is all optional.
I can choose to be happy either way.
Happy in the house I have.
Happy with an addition.
Happy if we lose money on it someday.
It’s all up for grabs.
It’s like a menu and I can order whatever I want off of it.
Today I want to order a main course of taking action. Action towards all the things that are important to me.
I know that when I reach a goal, or have the addition on my house, I won’t feel any happier, so I just get to do what I want.
This is such good news!
The takeaway today is:
Do what you want in your life.
If you want to achieve something, work towards it.
If you want to have something, have it.
Your desires are worthy of existing.
You don’t “have” to do any of it.
Just do what you want.
That’s what I plan on doing today.
P.S. If it feels like you need to control the people around you in order to have what you want, read on here. I talk all about fighting with my kids over dishes. Yikes!
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