Today I'm thinking about how life is 50/50... 50% joy and 50% suffering. We can try to eliminate the 50% we don't enjoy, but without the contrast of emotions, the joy doesn't really exist.
They have to coexist in order to fully experience happiness because without suffering, we wouldn't even know what happiness was... And just like the stripes I'm wearing, they can compliment each other.
They compliment each other when we stop resisting the negative and embrace it.
How do we do this? I practice it by focusing on my own actions instead of trying to change my kids.
Usually I want to freak out about how my kids are behaving.
I think they should be kinder, they should listen to me, and they should work cheerfully. Those expectations get me into trouble, because guess what? My kids aren't always kind, they don't always listen, and they are often grumpy.
Old me tried to change them. I thought they needed fixed. I thought I could be happy when they finally changed.
So I felt terrible while I tried to manipulate them into perfection.
That was one way to experience the 50% suffering, by resisting it and trying to change everything outside of me.
Now instead of feeling terrible while trying to change my kids, I just feel disappointed when they don't do what I wish they did.
I experience the disappointment, then I move on.
I focus on who I want to be in that moment.
I want to love them. I want to teach them. I want to believe that they are learning. I want to believe that everything is going to turn out just fine and even amazing, regardless of what chaos is happening in this moment.
So I chill out and don't wait for them to change for me to be who I want to be.
I am a kind mom. I teach. I care. I love.
My kids can do anything, and I can still choose.
It's still 50/50, it's just different.
It is a more peaceful 50/50.
If you're ready to make a change, join me.
Instead of resisting the disappointment, frustration, and chaos in your life... lean into them. They do not make things worse, they make the good parts better.
That's what I'm working on believing today.