A common theme I see for my clients is that they feel like they are failing.
They’re trying to do all the things - parenting, homeschooling, side gigs, church and civic duties, running a household, etc.
But they are thinking that they should be doing something else in any given moment.
If they are homeschooling, they feel guilty about not getting the to do list done. If they attack the to do list, they feel guilty for ignoring their kids.
When they think that they should be doing something else, they feel frustrated.
When they feel frustrated they take negative action. They react in anger towards their kids, they spin in guilty thoughts, or they don’t focus on the task at hand.
The result of those actions is that they waste time and brainpower, so they should have done something else!
You result proves your thought true every time.
Is there an upside to thinking that you should be doing something else?
What if in any given moment, what you choose to do is the right thing to do? If you choose to work and leave the kids to themselves, that is the right thing to do. If you choose to stop and spend some time with them, that is the right thing to do.
Instead of beating yourself up for not doing it right, what if you believed that you are right on track?
Ask yourself these questions:
What if this is supposed to be the way it is? (stress, overwhelm, worry about the future, all of it)
What if I’m exactly where I should be? (Including all of the things that have “gone wrong” in your life.)
How do I want to show up in this situation? (with the to-do list, deadlines, and responsibilities)
How can I create evidence that I am succeeding? (Even when I don’t do all of the things my brain thinks that I “should” do.)
Remember: There is no deadline that you have to meet. Everything is optional. Even caring for your kids or homeschooling them. You don’t have to do any of it!
Feeling terrible now in order to prevent possibly feeling terrible later doesn’t work in your favor. It does not prevent the future failure you’re worried about.
Think of it this way: If you think that someday there might be a fire in your house, and you worry about it constantly, instead of living your life, you would run around checking the smoke detectors, looking for fire hazards, telling your kids how to run out of the house, trying to prevent a fire while feeling stressed and overwhelmed. While doing all of that you would not be enjoying your life in the moment. The future possible moment of a potential fire would be holding you captive. The future possibility would be controlling your actions today.
Worrying that there might be a fire someday does not prevent a fire now.
It stops you from living your life in this moment.
Worrying that you might mess up your kids, or that you might fail at homeschooling, or that you might not reach your goals, only keeps you stuck.
Instead of living your life on purpose and intentionally, you remain trapped in the negative “what if” cycle of failure, running around trying to prevent it, which ironically creates more negative results.
All it does is makes you miserable now.
You stop enjoying the moments going by in your life because you're consumed by the stress and worry that thinking you might fail creates.
If you’re ready to snap out of it, remember that thoughts that you might fail are optional.
Equally possible are thoughts that you might be wildly successful.
What if you are destined to succeed?
What if success is the only option?
What if you are right on track?
Believing these thoughts generates powerful emotions that can drive amazing action, which makes it way more likely that you will succeed.
Don’t worry my friend, you are right on track.
No really. YOU are right on track.
P.S. Did you know that you know the answer. Read about it here.