It's not awareness, it's just being mean.

I am a life coach.

I know the tools.

I can see where other people are holding themselves back.

But I still get coached every week.

I still need someone to show me where I am stuck personally.

I may be able to read other people’s labels, but I can’t read the label of my own bottle from the inside.

I explained to my coach this week that I just notice all of the things in my life, and that I am just very aware.

I see all of the things I could improve on or be better at in my life.

She said “It’s not awareness, it’s just being mean.”

If I followed another mom around as she lived her life and pointed out ways that she could improve - she could have been a little nicer, she could have less clutter around, she could be more patient, she could have gotten more done, she could be further along if she had tried harder, etc., it would be completely rude.

So why do I do that to myself?

Why is it not ok to berate the people around us, and yet myself, most people I talk to, and everyone I coach, is berating themselves?

I used to tell myself worse things such as "you're such a failure."

Through coaching I have moved to the point that I am not telling myself that I am terrible, but I still notice the things that I could improve on.

I thought I was just being aware.

As my coach pointed out, I’m just being mean.

I wouldn’t allow someone else to say things like that to my friends. I would appreciate what they were doing, encourage them, and love them the way that they are.

Why is it so hard to offer that same grace to myself?

I am my harshest critic and I think I'm pretty normal.