You brain asks you questions all day long.
Some questions are useful, some are not.
What are you going to wear? What time do we need to leave? How are you going to get that done? Why are the kids not behaving? Why can’t you be a better mom?
You automatically answer all questions your brain poses, usually unconsciously.
The way you answer the questions, will determine how you feel.
Answering the questions negatively will create a negative feeling.
If you answer with…
“I’ll never get it done.”
“My kids are crazy (and I’m to blame).”
“I’m terrible at this.”
“Everyone else knows how to (something is wrong with me).”
…then you will feel terrible.
Those answers create feelings of overwhelm, shame, worry, and despair.
The way you feel drives all of your actions. If you feel shame, and then take action from that place, the result will be different than if you felt proud of yourself.
The result of your actions is always a reflection of the way you answered the questions your brain gave you.
For example, if my house has stuff all over it and my brain asks me “What is wrong with you? Other people have clean houses.” And I answer that question with “I’m such a mess.” I will feel shame. When I feel shame, I feel like hiding. This feels terrible, so I stop what I’m doing and distract myself in an attempt to feel better. Maybe I get on my phone or maybe I eat something yummy. The result is that my house stays a mess. The house being a mess is a reflection of how I answered the question (I’m such a mess).
Your brain is programed to respond negatively to the questions it poses.
We automatically see what has gone wrong. This function is useful when looking outside of ourselves: What is wrong with the car? It has a flat tire. That can be useful. It drives you to fix what is broken.
It is not useful when used against ourselves.
What is wrong with you? Everything. That leaves you hopeless and ashamed. You cannot fix yourself, so you give up.
It’s like your brain is giving you a multiple choice test all day, and you get to choose any answer you want. Any answer is acceptable, but on default our brain will choose all of the negative ones. All answers are options though. Your brain thinks that when it responds negatively it is just stating the truth, but in reality it is creating the truth by choosing the answer.
Remember, the result of your actions in life are a reflection of the way you answer the questions on the test.
If you want to see a different result in your life, answer the question differently.
If the house has stuff all over it, and my brain asks me “What is wrong with you? Other people have clean houses.” I can answer the question with “I clean everything right on time. I wasn’t supposed to clean it yesterday, I was supposed to do it today.” Then I feel empowered. When I feel empowered I get busy cleaning, and the result is that my house is clean right on time, which is proof of my answer to the question.
You create the results by choosing the answer to the question.
So what if you brain poses a question and you answer it with “I don’t know”? This is a sneaky lie. It conveniently keeps you stuck in inaction. It does this by producing a feeling like hopelessness. When you think you don’t know and then you feel hopeless, do you feel inspired to take action? No! Hopelessness leads to inaction, which further proves that you didn’t know what to do.
I don’t know is a lie.
It keeps you stuck. It stops progress.
What should I make for dinner? “I don’t know” will play out to your kids eating cereal.
How should I schedule our homeschool? “I don’t know” will play out to chaos as people do whatever whenever.
You do know.
What if you did know the answer? What if there is no right answer to the question? What if any answer to the question would lead to success? Then which one would you choose?
There is no wrong answer. What do you want to make for dinner? Make that. What do you want to do for homeschool? Do that.
It’s ok to be wrong.
If you choose something, and decide later that you do not like the result, you can always change your mind. But if you don’t make a decision by deciding “I don’t know”, you are making still making a decision.
You do know the answer.
What you chose to answer your brain with will be the result you will see in your life.
Try on these thoughts and see how they make you feel:
I will get everything done that I want to today.
I will get everything done that I need to today.
My kids are right on track.
I am learning.
I am exactly how I should be.
My life is amazing.
From these thoughts I feel empowered, capable, excited, determined, and peaceful.
From those feelings I create an amazing life.
Stop letting your brain answer the questions on default.
The way you answer the questions determines the result you will see in your life.
P.S. Do you avoid feeling your emotions? Read on here.